seriously i must turn back my biological clock before school starts...and i have only one day left to do that lols...

i have a very high tendency to not sleep leh...unless i make myself really tired.

so ya. my sis hates me. I WaN MY OWN ROOM! lols

ok it is 4am..i am starting to feel tired le...maybe i should turn in.



I am so bored today that I am back to blog a third entry. Feel like going for the D'hoppers audition on 18 august. But very scared they think i too lousy. Which I am. HAIZ where the hell is CAC studio man. somemore to go for lessons still need to pay. But if it is really good and not intimidating, i think i should join lah...i dun wan my uni life to end up only remembering studying. and not doing what i really want and love. aiya see how lah. =(

I realised i have very little things to do online man. I DUN play games like STARCRAFT or facebook games anymore. or watever games out there. i dun even play viwawa anymore..hmm maybe i should start since i got nothing better to do.

school starting on tues!!!must work hard must work hard must work hard!



saw a really cute boy boy learning to swim just now. He was learning how to breathe properly underwater. Then whenever he comes up to breathe, he will give the kind of pouting face, because he is blowing out air. SO CUTE lah...makes me think back to the time when i started learning swimming. haha

i swam so many laps today that i lost count. when you swim alone and have alot of things on your mind, you just keep going and no fatigue will kick in one. so good right somemore can lose weight. haha



It has really been a long time since I typed a blog post properly.

I feel like writing about my parents today. The older you grow, the importance of family will really kick in. For example, when you are like 12-16 years old, you will start to think like friends are more important, parrents are so old-fashioned and stuffs like that. (though i didn't lah, SERIOUSLY i am VERY mature at a young age, wahaha)

I used to hear people telling me that i will appreciate having so many siblings when I am older. And I have to agree. It is true. It is really nice coming home to people I feel really comfortable with, where I have seriously nothing to hide, nothing to mask. literally as well..lols

I love to see my talented brother dancing..he is seriously passionate and talented (wished i am too)..watchng his anime non-stop, my crazy sister screaming, blabbering about her work, her love life, people saying her pretty blablabla, yes my sister can talk non-stop. and of course my ever so intellectual elder brother who really..whom we all know deep deep down, that he is working ever so hard, because of the family.

But the real reason i wanna write this post..is about my parents.

From young, we have witnessed so much struggle for life in our family. We have been really really poor. But since we were young at that point of time, it never bother us. But I know as parents, the struggle is always there. Somemore my siblings age are so close, to take care of three crazy kids is madness. My mum have to juggle taking care 3 kids and working as well, because my dad's pay at that time was not enough. ( somemore need to send backsome money to his family in malaysia)

When I say my mum work, she can really worked. She worked like a bull man. She told me once, "She knows they are poor. But she never grumbles about why my dad cant provide so well for her or for the family. Because she can see the effort my dad put in. He don't smoke, dun flirt, and he really works hard to put food on our table. As long as u and your husband are willing to work hard together to bring up the family, it is possible." And work hard she did. Waking up very early, go shop sell clothes. My mum can really sells man, something i never learned even though i spend so much time there. And we are their goals. We 4 are the ones they are working for. Thinking back on those days can really makes me tear.

When my mum come home from work, she will still sit down and forced all of us to study. Because she believed it is the only way to get us out of poverty. I was the poorest learner. HAHA my sister and elder brother likes learning. I likes daydreaming. That is why i get braten the most. i cant remember a day passed without getting beaten man. LOLS

Oya, a week ago my mother told me that because I was diagnosed with a serious illness before, she didn't have the same expectations for me as my other siblings. Digressing, my liver hardened when i was realli young like 2 yrs old maybe? Probably hepatitis B or something really serious. The doctor closes his book and said to my mum "That is it, we cant do anything anymore. It is up to her body whether she will live or die." Yup and i lived. Again, thanks to my mum never ending care for me. She says she was so sad that her tears flows inside. but she never gave up on me. The next time she went to visit the doctor with me, the doctor says it is a miracle I survived and my liver is working fine again.

So ya, because of that, she have a different set of expectations of me as compared to my siblings. She was just hoping i could grow up healthily and happily can already. But after I got better and better with my health, she feels like it is necessary to enforce more on me. So it explains this huge memory of mine remembering crying all the time.

Oh, that is why my mum don't like me participating in so many sports when I was in primary school. I have a super competitive side, I did high jump, long jump and running, and i was good in all! I was the star runner in school =). I remember they have this quota as to how many events one person can take part in for sports day. Or the whole sports thing lah. And the teachers will even try to push the limits for me to take part in more. Cos there is too many i like! Oh, but my mother always say "run so fast for what, in the end 受伤的还不是自己" And she never come to watch me run after coming once in primary 1 i think, cause she says she cannot stand me running till i fall at the finishing line gasping for breath. so pia lidat. but the point is i stil win lor..haha

three days ago, i took the bus with my dad to sengkang early in the morning. I was going for flag day, my dad going to work. Sitting beside him, I realised my dad 真的老了 and it pains my heart. The lines edged deep into his face, he seem to have thinned, and he look so tired. argh...feel like crying already. But when he talks to me, he is still so caring and looking out for my comfort in every way. MY dad may not be the kind of person who can speaks very well. quite repetitive at times. unexpressive of emotions. BUt he is definitely the best in my eyes. because he never stop worrying for us. never stop working hard for us. and is so cute being so unexpressive. (My favorite past time is to dress up nice nice and ask my dad "爸我美吗“ and watch him search in his limited vocab and say "huh okay la..美咯" then going back to reading his newspaper. I think that is so cute lah. Maybe that is why I always have a soft spot for guys who couldn't express themselves well in words aka shy.

my post is so boring i guess... but i want to have a record of my life so i can look back next time..

oya i am really happy that SCIENCE faculty won. I am so glad to be part of the science family. SCI FAC ALL THE WAY.

ON another topic that I am really quite angry with myself man. ya and i noe. zr u r right.

Why do I always have to be nice to people. even to those i dun like. I cant help it. It is not like i am some angel or wat. I dunno why i am like this, i guess i just dunno how to be really mean. So the end product is alot of people I dun like ends up sticking to me. simply becos other people dun like them as well. and viola.. there is this nice gal here that seem to like "me". so i guess i will just stick to her.

then at the end of the day. I get myself so piss because of the things these people do to me. or say. den i complain. but really. it is my problem. who ask me not to ignore these people in the first place like everyone else does. who ask me to wan to be nice. i have no one to blame except for myself. FML

COULD U PLS WAKE UP MEILENG. argh i shall go swim now and scream out my frustrations to myself.



f-ingly pissed off with the world now...or to be exact...2 people...

ARGH FML!!! stop being so naive MEILENG! FFFFFFFFFFFFF


P.S. nt referring to anyone that could possibly be reading this.