how many times have u wanted something so bad...

and onli to be met with disappointment.

i have. alot. it seems like the more i wanted something, the more i cant get it.

sometimes i am afraid to want something badly anymore. cos the fall would just be harder.

setbacks are so frequent nowadays.

can u find the confidence in u to push on, meileng?



ok this is probably not the best of times for me to be blogging.

yes i do have an 1000 word essay i need to submit by 2359 today. and it is 1203 now...seem like there is a long way to go isn't it? hehe...i think i gonna skip 3110 lecture...not tt any of u care...i dun too wahaha..

do i sound bad tt way..

okay...i shall start on my half finished essay...=(



just had a random thought.

lets be more open to people.

now repeat after me...

"Thou shall judged only when i have known everything i could. (abt a person or an issue, and not just based on the superficial knowledge you know abt someone/something)

Thou shall try to be open to different ideas and people who are different. (try to imagine u are them..i spent hours thinking of myself being a man hu actually enjoy get fucked by dogs, or bring gay, or being a minority race, or being handicapped, or being raped, or being a phycho criminals...etc)

wow now that i think back, i realli do spend alot of time thinking i am alot of other ppl, the previous paragraph was typed without much thought lols! does that means i m weird?? hmm i hope not. haha

so ya...wat sparked off this tot of mine was because i realised alot of ppl judged before they realli noe who/wat they are judging. and they are so fixed on their opinion they refused to get more knowledge abt it/cant be bothered.

if u realli dun care...then dun care..and dun judge badly..

like take xiaxue for example... how many people i noe judged her without even reading more den 10 entries of her blog? isit fair? i dun think so. but they judged anw. i noe i noe, i can definitely see ur point. how she portrays herself to be bimbotic and all the stuffs i noe ppl said...

but realli. thou shall take this as a rule of thumb as from now. and u might wan to too. "if someone/something is popular. take some time to know why isit popular before hating on it. it must have its reasons to be popular. these thousands/millions of people cant be all dumb right, to be following him/her like so avidly when he/she is dumb/stupid watever, right?."

take some time to noe why they are popular!

like justin bieber...he is FUCKING popular. and i know ALOT of people who dun like him. FOR NO REASON. or for lame reasons.

i never follow him realli..so i dun realli noe how he became so popular and stuff (i am beginning to see why) since i noe nothing, i just dun judge him. tt is fair right?

judge onli when u have done ur research AND still ends up hating him. then that is fair isn't it?

ok having spill out my thought, i m happy..

and now i shall go sleep and go JB tmr! leave some comments for me!



hey guys it is 320 now. and i have some thoughts i realli want to blog out. was actually lying on my bed le..but suddenly realli have the urge to put my thoughts into words so here i am!

just had my gek presentation today. felt it was abit screwed up...dno y my grp was so "attacked" with qns compared to other groups. i think it was partly cos errol was closer to the tcher so our tcher felt more comfortable shooting us.

anyway tt was not my point. my point is, i was realli kinda impressed by errol's performance. meaning his presentation and his answering skills. or should i say confidence in speaking.,and at the same time..logical answers? not just confidence and bs talking...lols...

so ya..was just thinking how i realli couldn't do the same as him..while standing beside him hearing him answer all the qns targeted at our grp. like i just dun have the right answers...or dun have the confidence...or i just realli dun believe in myself..one of these 3 reasons i guess...

seriously.

tt day when we had a meeting. he wrote a script for me...in the way he would have presented, and want me to read it out loud to him.

i was all like "huh...can dun read to u not..so weird...u hearing me talk.." while i was saying this, i was acutely aware that i am being loserish, being scared to speak up.

but he was all nice and supportive and like "why not? it is onli me?seriously, you can one. " and like "u will have to speak to everyone on the day anyway"

and that realli brought me out of my shell.

like "ya..he dun feel it is weird. den y should i?"

so ya...i just speak like the way i know i could but never dare to...in front of him...

and den he was like "that was realli good. din know u can speak lidat" blabla supportive compliments which boost my confidence alot more den he probably would noe.

so ya ...wat i m trying to say is...

i think i m realli someone who needs lots of support and compliments and lots of nudging and pushings to get past my fears. if i noe someone is realli there thinking i can...thinking wat i m doing is good..is alright...i think that is the assurance i realli need..

maybe one day when i come to a point where i could build enough courage in me..have enough faith in myself..i wouldn't need such support anymore..i could stand on my own.

but that is definitely not now. though tt is wat i want to.

so ya.

just wanna say this incident realli reminds me once again that "it never hurts to compliment someone if u genuinely think he/she done well. really. it hurts no one to give a little praise from time to time. u never noe how much it means to someone. "

even if you know the person is realli up there. or so confident that he/she dun need assurance. just tell them. it would definitely still made their day/make them happy. who knows, maybe because everyone assumed these confident ppl knew they are good enough and dun need praises, it is them who received the least of all. and would realli realli appreciate it when someone praise them.

ok think my post is getting too naggy.

so on the bus ride home. i suddenly felt...like i shld msg errol to let him know how well he did today. cos i bet no one(or few) ever told him that. everyone just assumes he knows. or he dun needs it. so ya...i sms him to told him i appreciated his hard work andthnk he did great at presentation. i feel good praising someone genuinely..and i believed he feels good being praised too!

so yes..spread the love!

p/s:so it is like. maybe because of the way i come across..few thinks i need support to move on. to do well. but the fact is. i realli am insecure and easily affected by bad comments. so ya.

IT NEVER HURTS TO COMPLIMENT(me)! time to time???